Three things I improved:
- I took into account the feedback my partner Nora wrote, which was rewording the awkward sentences, taking out ideas that didn't match my thesis, and adding support ideas.
- I rewrote my introduction, added more to my first body paragraph, and wrote the second body paragraph, as well as added (some scrambled) points to follow in each of my paragraphs for when I next edit it.
- I found and cited several more sources and incorporated them especially in my second body paragraph.
Three things my partner improved on: Nora Hixson
- She added a bunch more detail to all of her paragraphs--I definitely saw an increase in size.
- At the end of each paragraph, I could tell what her points were much clearer than I could've before; I can tell she spent time on evaluating what she really wanted each paragraph to say.
- Particularly in the second body paragraph, she uses a positive amount of ethos.
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