By Sarah Moore
Re-reading my introduction, I'm not at all satisfied with the wording or general idea it's giving. I would say, based on the rubric in our syllabus, that my intro would either be a Weak (D) or Competent (C). My ideas are hard to follow based on how they're presented, and my argument is not very apparent. I really dislike my sentences, they seem really jumbled. The reason why I'm targeting my introduction is because it's one of the most important paragraphs, and since it's the very first thing my reader will see, it should be good and coherent. I think I can improve it by listing my subjects in order, using more examples, and making sure my writing flows well.
I feel like one thing that I have done well with, especially in my revision over the weekend, was adding more credible sources. There aren't necessary four in each paragraph, but there are definitely six to eight throughout, which could make my paper Strong (B). Improvements could be, however, to include more, and better connect them to my ideas.
My formatting has consistent flaws, so most likely that area is Competent (C). I have a strange habit of making all of my citations in the Works Cited page APA format, rather than the correct MLA format. There are also a few errors after I add credit to a quote I just paraphrased or quoted that I need to work on. I can hopefully bump my formatting up to a Strong (B) or Superior (A) by really studying helpful citation websites like purdue owl, or asking the help of a classmate.
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